What I Learned in 2017

2017 was an incredible series of highs and lows. The lows were so low but the highs took me so far up I didn't know the feeling existed.

"This was the year of hurting so bad, but living so good". - Rupi Kaur

Throughout the year I made a list of things I learned in order to keep myself sort of inspired. Here are the top ones I felt needed to be shared and some stories to go along with them:

1. There is a difference between being in love and loving someone.

I had to learn this the hard way and let me tell you it hurt like HELL. Im not talking about the "wow he doesn't like me anymore what do I do now" kind of hurt, Im talking the "I was 100% sure I was going to spend the rest of my life with this person and then he turned out to be everything he said he would never become" type of hurt.

Loving someone is a commitment; It entails giving without expecting anything in return, wanting the very best for them, making sacrifices, not keeping a record of wrongs, trusting each other, motivating/encouraging/inspiring each other, going past that physical attraction and so much more. But being in love can stem from infatuation, and obsession. It entails a lot of jealousy and possessiveness which only leads to a downward spiral.

The biggest mistake I made was confusing these two things. I had changed myself, committed a thousand percent and given everything to some boy who, yes, was in love with me, but never actually loved me. I spent two years loving and hating and holding onto something that had already slipped through the cracks. The truth is you cannot receive the love you do not have to give, and sadly he didn't have the love to give. Once I realized that, I let it go.

I constantly listen to the song "The Day You Stop Lookin' Back" by Thomas Rhett and If you are going through a break up and are having a hard time moving on, just go listen and thank me later!!!!

2.Dream and Dream BIG.

This one is for the dreamers. The believers. The musicians. The travel vloggers and bloggers. The singer- song writers, astronauts, race car drivers, photographers/videographers and everyone in between.

Dream out loud. Tell everyone about the crazy future plans you want more than anything in the world. People WILL look at you like you have 4 eyes and they WILL tell you things like "you're insane" or "you will never be able to accomplish that" , oh and my most favorite one "you will never be able to make a living", but If you are willing to put 100% effort into making your dream come true then don't listen to them, JUST GO FOR IT!!!

I am a thrill seeker and a not so basic, but basic girl who wants to travel the world and make take photos for a living. (Just a few months ago I sent out a message to over 100 people at my school asking for anyone to travel with, just buy a plane ticket and we can figure out the rest from there. Everyone of those people thought I was joking and that I was crazy, but just 3 weeks later, me and my best friends from home had flights to Canada and our passports ready. Today I have 2 mojitos waiting for me at a resort in Puerto Rico.) I used to be like a lot of other people and just say "oh I want to do that" and I never really turned my words into actions. Now anytime I say something my parents get a little scared because they know I will make it happen. Call me what you want, I know I am the black sheep/gypsy of my family and my siblings LOVE to rub in the fact that I used to be the favorite child but now they have a chance, but whose dreams have started coming true in just a few short months? GO MAKE IT HAPPEN PEOPLE!!!

3. ACCEPT FAILURE!!!!

Girlllllll (or boiiiiiiii), lemme just tell you, you ARE going to fail. Whether it be in love, a job, school, or whatever else, you are going to fall a million times before you finally get it right but just keep getting back up. Failure has the tendency to make a lot of people want to give up and move onto something else, but it's the incredibly successful people who fail, fail again, and fail better until they finally succeed and it will make it all worth it.

4. Invest in people who invest in you

There are going to be people in life who just don't like you. They might even hate you. Let me tell you that is inevitable. Let them hate, and you keep on living your life. Ignore their words and don't let them get to you. They are temporary but your sauce is forever!

Pay attention to the people who actually make an effort to be in your life and help you become a better version of yourself. Stick with the people who pull the magic out of you and not the madness. The ones who make you feel like sunshine, and like everyday is your birthday; Energy is a contagious thing and it will influence your actions and thoughts!!!

So be picky about who you keep around, AKA KEEP YA CIRCLE TIGHT because you are only as good as the people you surround yourself with.

Age is but a number!! I can sit for hours on end with people of all different ages and have amazing conversations with each and every one of them. I have a bunch friends who are younger than me , but many that are also older than me. I am the girl you will see hanging out with 30 year olds one day, 15 year olds the next, and then 80 year olds on the weekend. (And yes I actually enjoy hanging out with adults more than people my own age, I'm weird I already know). The biggest piece of advice I can give you is to surround yourself with people of all different types, you will learn more than school will ever teach you.

5. "Some nights you'll dance with tears in your eyes" -Frank Ocean

They may be happy tears or sad tears but you are living and feeling something so deeply in your soul and that is amazing. At some point in your life, you are going to be in a moment SO good that tears start falling because you won't want it to end. You're going to wish you could press a pause button and make time stop. Take in that moment to its fullest and be so thankful you got to have it. At another point in your life you are going to be in a really bad state. You're going to be exhausted from the hurt, and sick of hearing everyone say "it will be okay", but honestly it will be okay, even if you don't want to hear it.

For the past two years I wasn't really living my best life. I had put my life on hold and put everyone else before me. I was trying to be enough for a guy who in reality I was never going to fulfill. I was drowning in school work for a major I didn't want to pursue but I wanted to be the perfect child for my parents and make them proud. I was doing everything my friends wanted but never what I wanted, and I never took time for myself.

This year for New Years I was crying happy tears while dancing in Canada with my best friends, and new friends. When we got back to our hotel we did our nightly routine of taking selfies in all the mirrors, and then started talking about new years resolutions. My best friend looked at me and made me promise that 2018 would be the year I finally put myself first. We are only 22 days into the new year and It has been the best year of my life so far because of that one promise.

Take life in, all of it, the good the bad and the ugly. Feel the rain on your skin and dance like nobody is watching. The MOST important thing I have learned in the last 4 months is when you focus on the good, the good gets better. If you love life, it will love you right back! So let the world go and watch it all come to you. Make 2018 the year for you and don't feel bad about it!